


The Little Annoyance

by Gix



Category: Dream SMP-Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Duck Quackity, Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrids, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28662198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gix/pseuds/Gix
Summary: Techno get harassed by a certain feathery friend.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 699
Collections: QNB_DISCORD_FICS





	1. Chapter 1

Techno watches his breath form mist in the cool morning air as he pours food into Carl’s trough. Living in the snow is nice for him, calming. The voices in his brain are soothed by the chill, allowing his thoughts to clear, less violent. 

The days pass by with a certain monotonous peace that he’s never felt before. Out here, away from the loud antics of the others, away from the hot sun of Logstedshire or the cramped city of L’Manburg, he gets to escape. He’s allowed to be himself in a way he’s never viewed himself before. He’s always been “The Blade,” deadly, dangerous, more monster then man. Even in his own thoughts he often characterizes himself that way. Violence is a part of who he is, all the blood on his hands, the voices rising up and challenging any who cross him, demanding guts to be spilled like rivers along the ground. 

For the longest time, he thought that was all he is. For a long time, that’s all he was.

He pulls the cloak hood down as he makes his way towards his crops. While mobs only get super aggressive at night, he prefers to stay alert, especially with all the work he’s put into this farm. He still feels a burst of rage when he remembers discovering a creeper hole in his field after Dream visited. Maybe he’d have to pay that green bastard back sometime.

He doesn’t actually consider it. This is still technically Dream’s domain, after all, and it’s honestly not worth the effort. Maybe he has gotten softer.

He’s discovering new things about himself, out here. How when the voices are at their quietest, a mere whisper in his brain, his eyes feel more focused and he gets a lot more done. How he enjoys reading books, especially as night falls and the fireplace burns with fresh wood. How he’s actually pretty good at cooking, when he tries. He’d been so used to half-cooked potatoes and ash-charred meat that his first well cooked meal felt like a prize. He decided to keep trying new recipes, after that, slowly improving his cooking. Even Phil had been impressed the few times he came over, humming with delight as Techno showed off his new skills.

Even gardening can be pleasant. He finds it easiest to think when he’s pulling up the weeds and replanting seeds. It focuses him enough to not get distracted every two seconds, but still allows him to study other things. He smiles softly as his thoughts of the past few months arise. He actually feels...

_Content_.

Those moments of peace are quickly cut short when he hears the sound of light footsteps in the snow.

He’s used to the wild life around here, and he hopes it’s just a passing fox, searching for food in the ice. He doesn’t feel like fighting right now, the idea of getting yet another nice, warm winter cloak dirty unappealing.

Sadly, he’s forced to rise from his plants and draw his sword as the steps get closer. His ears swivel, trying to find which direction the noise is coming from, when he hears a sudden, loud noise. He whips around, instincts already pulling his muscles tight for the kill and-

And it’s a bird.

A duck, to be precise.

It’s smaller then a full grown duck, and the small yellow feathers that mix in with the larger, white and green primaries shows it to be around mid-adolescence. It quacks again, noise seeming to echo around the clearing Techno has deemed home.

Techno relaxes as he watches the little creature waddle around the garden. It had somehow managed to get over the fence and behind him without his noticing, sneaky thing. It doesn’t seem too interested in the vegetables he’s growing, so he lets it stay. He continues to work and listens to the little quacks and trills that leave the bird as it walks the perimeter of his fencing. It’s feathers have puffed up a bit from the cold, he notices.

Eventually the duck would leave on its own, right?

He watches it from the corner of his eye while he waters his potatoes. It’s odd for a water foul to be all the way out here, often they prefer the warmer waters of lakes. Besides, they’re naturally found in fresh-water areas, and here only has salt water. He’s curious.

The duck seems to be searching for something for a bit, before it decides it’s found what it needs. It flaps its wings a couple times, landing on top of the chest he uses to contain his seeds and tools. It settles there, feathers puffing up even further as it rests. It looks akin to a fluffy pillow, soft and poofy.

Techno works for another hour, and the duck doesn’t leave. In fact, it watches him the whole time from its perch, dark brown eyes glinting in the sun. It almost puts Techno on edge, how closely he’s seeming to be observed.

Eventually Techno decides that he’s worked enough on the field for one day. A nice lunch by the fire sounds really nice right now. He’s pretty sure his fingertips will be blue when he removes his gloves, just like his nose and lips already are.

He trudges through the thick snow, checking Carl’s food and water before opening his door.

A loud honk comes from his feet, and he looks down to see the duck shoving past him and into his house.

“Nope, no you don’t.”

He lifts the tiny creature up. It seems to glare at him, a honk of annoyance leaving it as he looks it over.

It’s feathers are surprisingly clean and soft for having traveled so far. And it’s pretty still in his hands, not struggling as he places it back down outside the door. Maybe it’s someone’s pet, though he can’t imagine anyone he knows being stupid enough to bring a duck into the Antarctic. Even Tommy wouldn’t pull a stunt like that, as impulsive as he is.

Quackity might.

The thought immediately has him turning back to study the duck again, who’s waddling back towards him, insistent on getting inside his house.

Quackity would be dumb enough to not realize that a duck couldn’t survive out in the icy land. That being said, why would _Quackity_ be here in the first place, let alone with a pet. And, if it is in fact his pet, how would Techno return it? They’re not on the best terms currently, and Techno has tried his best not to use the communicator as to keep his location somewhat secret. People tend to stumble upon his base anyway, somehow. 

The duck quacks several times as it tries to get past his feet. It nips at the tops of his boots when he gently blocks its path, feather puffing up again as it attempts to challenge him.

He let out a snort at the behavior. Well, it certainly has Quackity’s brains. Thinking that it can challenge an animal several times its size with no sort of advantage over him. He’d call it courageous if it weren’t so stupid.

The duck tugs on his pant leg in anger. It seems very frustrated. He realizes tardily that it might be desperate after wandering in the snow for so long on its own.

He pauses and considers the thing, which stares back at him and honks a few times. It couldn’t really do much damage, not even being fully grown. Plus, it’s been pretty calm so far, not messing with his crops or anything.

He sighs as he steps aside and watches it waddle into the warm house, the thought of ‘ _What the fuck am I doing_ ’ loudly echoing in his brain.

He was so very, very wrong.

He’d been upstairs, just trying to read a goddamn book. He’d nearly forgotten the little feathered friend in his living room. He hears a loud crash downstairs and immediately is tense. Then he remembers what he let into his house.

“Shit. Shit _shit shit!”_

He climbs down the ladder as quick as he can and rushes to the noise. The duck has already torn apart his house, bumping things off his shelves and leaving a trail of feathers in its wake. He stares at the books strewn around the floor, the pages having fallen out of a few of the older novels.

He finds the duck in his kitchen, fluffed feathers, looking dazed. A pot lays nearby, having been knocked over in its rampage. He glares down at the dumbass bird. If he weren’t so tired, he would’ve definitely killed it by now. It blinks up at him slowly. 

Honestly, it’s sort of cute seeing the tiny creature be so confident around him. Most people run away from him, let alone small animals. It triggers something deep in the back of his brain, something instinctual and protective. He wants to keep this little thing around.

He picks it up gently, careful to not injure it or cause panic. Yet again, it’s strangely calm with his touch. He glances out the window, hearing a very loud, offended squawk directly in his ear in response. He nearly throws it across the room. That was fucking loud, and it fucking hurt. His ears turn down as he whips his head back to the duck in his arms. It seems to hav finally realized that he could easily kill it or toss it out in the snow, because it starts struggling in his arms. 

A fearful trill leaves it as Techno grips tighter. He’s not planning to hurt it, really. And he knows he’d feel bad if he threw it out into the snowstorm outside. It’d be best to calm it down and find a place to keep it for the night without it completely destroying his house. 

A light bite to his nose has him pulled out of his thoughts, a low growl escaping him. The noise causes the duck to still, looking at him fearfully.

Maybe he _should_ throw it outside.

Instead, he climbs the ladder with the duck under one arm. It’s gone statue still under his touch. He hopes he hasn’t scared the poor thing to death.

Once he gets upstairs he closes the trapdoor. At least this way the damage would be limited to his room, which is already mainly bare. He only has his clothes and bed in here, everything else left crammed downstairs. He prefers his room colder and less crowded, helps him sleep better.

The duck flaps his wings so hard he drops it. It runs across the room, tugging on the cloaks in his closet, ducking under the bed and making little sounds of interest. It’s decided that it’s safe again, wandering around and not flinching when he steps closer.

Techno feels a soft warmth for the duck despite himself. It waddles around and pecks his floor, leaning into his touch when he runs a finger over the feathers. 

He gets ready for bed slowly, the duck “helping” by pulling on his clothes whenever it can and dragging his socks away. He chuckles softly as he watches it play with his socks. It’s a strange creature, really.

He climbs into bed, feeling the soreness in his muscles drag him down. He listens to the gentle clicks of the ducks footsteps and it’s little trill noises as he slowly falls asleep. 

( _A small warmth presses to his side after a bit, deciding it’s exploration is done and settling down for sleep_.)

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The loud scream jolts him out of bed, practically falling on the ground as he yanks himself upwards. Something is keeping him pinned to the bed though, and the panic grows because _what the fuck is in his bed-_

Familiar brown eyes meet his. The man on his lap is completely fucking nude, looking just as startled as he is at the predicament. Quackity smiles awkwardly at him after a moment or two of that horribly tense silence.

“Heyyyy Techno! Fancy seeing you here, ey?”

Quackity shrieks as he respawns in his home bed.

Sure, the plot to spy on Technoblade for future take-down purposes hadn’t gone as planned. But he’d seen a side of Techno he’d never even imagined before. Soft, kind, gentle. The plan was to go home before it got to late, but he felt so strangely at home, so comfortable falling asleep next to Techno. He’d seen a flush on the boar hybrids face when they woke together. The entire experience was oddly domestic.

He shakes the thoughts away quickly. Techno had just snapped his neck, goddamnit. There’s no way to find that man cute.


	2. Chapter 2

The duck is back again.

Or, Quackity is, he supposes. Techno has no idea how he’s taking bird form, but he knows it’s got to be some form of harassment. A plot to spy on him, or to irritate him to death.

Quackity had kept wandering back in his small feathered form for the last two months. The first time he came back after Techno learned who the duck really was, he got his neck snapped near-immediately. Techno was not in the mood to deal with him.

But still, Quackity kept coming back. Soft white-yellow and green feathers lay in the snow around Technos house. He’d even grown accustomed to the loud quacks that would come from his side as he worked. 

That duck, the idiot that he is, had even followed Techno into the Nether a couple times. Just found a high perch out of the reach of the hungry piglins and watched Techno mine. He was quieter in the Nether, movements less hasty. He stuck to Technos side and waddled a bit slower. Once when Techno wasn’t paying attention he heard a loud squawk. He turned to see Quackity desperately trying to put his tail feathers out after somehow catching himself on fire. He nearly dashed in to help, before he remembered who it really was in that duck facade.

Techno can’t say he hates the company, though. Even with all Quackity had done during L’Manburg’s lifetime, he couldn’t hate the man. He understands where Quackity was coming from and what he was fighting for. Doesn’t change the fact it was a stupid cause, but it wasn’t pointless violence.

Sometimes it’s useful to have him around. Quackity seems to be trying his best to be useful, even in his duck form. He plucks small weeds from the farm with his beak, he makes little chirps when he finds an item that might help Techno. Honestly, it’s like having a companion NPC.

He lets the duck get closer, even if he doesn’t plan on letting him into the house. He’s curious where Quackity goes each night, if he has a base nearby or something.

Techno hopes not. If anyone were to bring more attention to his base, it’d be Quackity.

Ranboo and Phil seem to like him, though. Techno hadn’t bothered to tell them it was actually Quackity, didn’t seem like that big of a deal. He doubts either of them would be spilling their darkest secrets to some random duck that hangs around the house.

He did have to stop Ranboo from letting the small bird in, though. The duck had angrily flapped its wings at him as the teen gave Techno a sad, hurt-puppy look. He’d still shaken his head firmly, nudging Quackity out the door with the toe of his boot.

“M’ not letting a wild animal into the house. It could have some disease, and it’ll shit on the floor.”

Ranboo nodded sullenly, lifting the duck into his hands and carrying it back to his little outpost. Techno nearly laughed at the offended look he was receiving from over Ranboo’s shoulder.

After another couple weeks, he finds out where Quackity’s been hiding.

He’d woken up early, as in 2am early. It wasn’t uncommon for him, honestly. It’s hard to stay asleep for Technoblade, his body seems to constantly be on high alert. Honestly, he’d probably never sleep if his body had its way. The only reason he has even a somewhat-regular sleep schedule is because of Phil’s constant pestering.

He steps out into the snow. The first thing he notices is the flurry of snow and ice falling from the sky. The hail patters harshly against the stone walls of the house, leaving rough patches in their wake.

He just stands next to the door for a moment, listening. Techno always found the soft patters of rain comforting. The feeling of water sliding down his head and cooling his skin, the calming rhythm seeming to synch with his heart. Of course hail is different, a harsher beat that hurts his skin when it hits. Nonetheless it calms him, allows his brain to still for a moment and just be.

Then he’s jolted back to reality fast enough to get whiplash.

That all-too-familiar squawk rings through the air. Techno is forced back into his body, and before he thinks he’s dashing out into the harsh hail. He feels the hot pain of the ice pellets as he follows the noise.

Quackity’s tiny form is nearly buried in the snow, only visible from the harsh shaking. Techno watches the feathers puff and relax again, a desperate attempt to draw heat. The bird is right next to Carl’s stall, a small hole having been dug there. Now that hole is slowly filling with snow and ice, muffling the soft cries of a distressed Quackity.

Techno should walk away, he really should. 

Quackity has been nothing but a nuisance to him. He’d harassed Techno, tried to kill him, screamed and kicked and punched. He really should just leave the idiot to die. 

Still, he finds his hands moving, digging up the small water foul and lifting him into his arms. Phil greets him the moment he gets back inside, and Techno sighs as he realizes he can’t just throw Quackity out now.

Phil rushes over and cautiously brushed snow off Quackitys wings.

“Ah mate I knew the poor thing would be hurt in the snow. I couldn’t find em, though.”

Techno just grunts, walking to the bathroom and tugging a towel from the shelf. He sets to work drying the melted ice from the tiny creature, and is immediately interrupted by Phil.

“Yer too rough! You’ll hurt it’s wings like that.”

Phil gently pulls on the right wing, watching it twitch under his touch.

“Er, well. More hurt.”

Techno huffs, indignant, but sits down to watch anyways. Phil is much slower and methodical, folding the towel and brushing it under the soft feathers. Quackity is still shaking, but he stays still as he’s touched, allowing Phil to move him around and rub the towel against him. Techno glares as the sleepy bird raises its head to look at him. He knows Quackity is smug about being back in the house, the little gremlin. 

The second Phil finishes, Quackity is standing and flapping his wings a few times. He walks the length of the couch once, twice. Phil mumbles a sleepy goodnight as he tosses the towel into the basket.

Techno glances to the clock. It’s 3am, now. A quack comes from his side. He ignores it.

Honestly, Techno wants nothing more then to be asleep right now. The soft sounds of the rain has captured his focus again, slowing his brain and heartbeat alike.

A light weight settles into his lap. Techno knows that stupid duck is trying to “cuddle” again, but his half-hearted swatting does little to get him away. He settles for laying a hand on Quackity’s back, feeling the rise and fall of his breaths under his hand.

His neck hurts like hell when he wakes up, and based on the weight in his lap, Quackity’s probably does too.

The shape shifter is now leaning on his shoulder, straddling his lap, perfectly comfortable. And, once again, nude.

He has to resist the urge to kill the other, knowing its a useless action anyway. Quackity just doesn’t learn his lesson, always coming back.

Still though, he doubts Ranboo or Phil want to wake up to a nude man in their living room. 

He tugs lightly on the feathers of the wings that lay limply at Quackity’s sides, watching the quick, jerk back reaction he receives. Quackity blinks wearily as he wakes up, head swiveling to take in his surroundings.

“G’Morning.”

A soft chirp is all he gets in response. Quackity attempts to bury his head back into Technos collar, but he pushes the bird back.

“Get off me, dumbass. I’ll kill you.”

Quackity squawks, giving him a glare before gesturing at himself.

“D’ ya want to see me naked, asshole? Give me your shirt or deal with it.”

Techno does, in fact, give Quackity his shirt, tugging it off and laughing at the startled look he receives.

“Rather not see or feel you naked, thanks.”

He shoves the shirt into Quackity’s hands. Having seemed to gain some ounce of shame, the hybrid rushes to tug it over his head and cover himself. His wings are awkwardly trapped under the cloth, but it covers what it needs to.

(Techno realizes just how small Quackity is, when compared to him.)

The morning passes by much slower then it should, honestly. Quackity’s presence is even worse then when he’s in duck form, and Techno just knows he’s trying to be annoying on purpose.

Still, he cooks them both breakfast and lends Quackity a set of boxers which honestly look more like shorts on the man. Techno hopes that the more food he gives him, the faster he’ll be out of his hair, back to bothering someone else.

He’s lucky that Ranboo had left earlier in the night, going off somewhere. (Honestly he thinks the kid sleep walks, always leaving in the latest hours of the night and returning mid day.)

Phil was still sleeping upstairs, probably would be for another few hours. He’d been on a week long trip recently, searching for a base that supposedly held undying totems.

He hopes the bird hybrid will leave before either of them come in and start questioning why a half nude Quackity is wearing his clothes and dining with him.

Those hopes are soon shattered though, when Quackity shuffles a bit and turns to him, dead serious.

“Can-can I stay here for a bit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABY!! MORE QNB CONTENT FOR THE SOUL! As always, this and all other works are specifically based on DSMP characters and AUs of them. 
> 
> THANKS FOR READIN!!


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